“Hyung, do you want to try out to be a child actor in Jinusean’s MV?
During the third grade, my parents sent me to live with my aunt temporarily because they were too busy and had to take care of some things.
I had a younger cousin who was attending performing classes at the academy. Because I wasn’t familiar with the neighborhood and it wasn’t fun playing by myself, I went along with him to his classes. I wasn’t really good at anything at ten years old, and I was very shy and introverted. I had no interest in performing at all. Besides listening to music and playing the piano, I did not have any other interests. When asked about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would immediately get red in the face and just say any random thing that came into mind to get by.
But, one day, something a friend said changed my entire life. I had a very good friend from the academy. Although he was younger than me by a year, we had similar interests and our personalities matched well. We were as close as blood-related brothers.
“Hyung, why don’t you audition?”
“Audition? What audition?”
“For Jinusean. You know them. Right, hyung? They need actors to portray Jinusean as kids. I was chosen to play Jinu, but they still need someone to play Sean.”
When I heard Jinusean, I asked…
“Jinusean as kids? Tell me more.”
“It’s for their MV. They are looking for someone who can portray them when as kids.”
He then proceeded to ask casually if I wanted to try out for the role. But at that moment, I felt like I was electrified. I loved Jinusean! I was already immersed in my brother’s music at that age. I had already memorized their lyrics, rap, and choreography! It was like I was made for the role.
My other classmates were targeting commercial films and television drama series. They weren’t really into music, especially Hip-Hop. They weren’t interested in dancing or rap as well.
This was the first time in my life that I was determined to reach for what I really wanted to achieve. If I continued being shy, this opportunity won’t find me again. This was the moment wherein a fearful child who had no idea what he needed transformed into a child who would give his all to be able to move towards the direction his heart was pointing to. After that, I put my entire focus on preparing for the audition. I practiced the moves and the rap. Even though we looked nothing alike, I tried my best to imitate Sean Hyung’s expressions. I prepared hard for it like I was preparing for my own solo stage.
After that… I got the part. I’m not sure if this was the expected outcome or not. They might have been able to find others who looked more like Sean, but it must not be easy finding another mini version of Sean with the same skills and passion. Looking back at that time, I was already starting to have the philosophy of “With passion and determination, there’s nothing I can’t do.” The child that nobody paid attention to in the academy, the child who was shy and wasn’t exceptional in anything… he was reborn through this audition.
I arrived at the set, full of expectations. Yet the MV filming set was an entirely different world. For me who liked music and was satisfying this desire by listening to it, it was the first time that I experienced (though indirectly) creating music as a means to satisfy this desire. Watching a basketball game and actually stepping on the court to play the game are two completely different things. Clothes drenched in sweat, heart racing like it’s about to explode out of your chest, and body temp so high it burns… there is nothing more real than this.
Selecting my outfit for the MV, presenting a rapper’s expressions and movements… I was very happy with the excitement and joy of me about to become an entertainer. Although they weren’t recording my voice, I acted like the singer, moving my hands and feet and lips. That moment, a soul called “singer” entered my body through my limbs and lips.
Before this, I thought that with honest and hard work, sooner or later one would reach that unknown world. When others asked me what my dream was, I would answer “pianist” or “music teacher” out of politeness. My mom bought me a piano with the slightest hint of talent that I might have. As my skills improved bit by bit, my mom would endlessly give me new Beyer and Czerny sheet music. My life was like these piano teaching materials. Listen to what my parents say; complete my tasks well. It was like climbing up the stairs step by step, level by level. Taking two steps at a time was unthinkable to someone who was as introverted as me.
However, in this world, there is an alternative option of creating my own world, and not just climbing up the steps that someone provided for me. I can create my own path, and open the door to the new world.
That day we were shooting the MV, I deeply felt the sound of my heart racing. Not once have I forgotten that feeling, even up to now.
Translator’s Note: This is Part 3 of Taeyang’s Shouting Out to the World, a translation from the Chinese translation of Shouting Out to the World by Big Bang China. This is merely a fan translation and is not affiliated with YG Entertainment or the publisher Sam and Parkers. This should only be for the fans’ personal use and should not be reproduced, modified, redistributed for any commercial purposes. Please do not take out/repost elsewhere without the translator’s explicit permission.
Credits: Chinese Translation by 贼@BBCN.
English translation by : amandajaclyn18.tumblr.com /@amandajaclyn18 at twitter. With permission to be reposted by Alwaystaeyang.
Oh wow, I think this part of all the ones I’ve read so far have touched me the most. And it makes me sad that Taeyang was such a shy kid and didn’t think he was particularly exceptional. Well he’s exceptional now.